something is wrong!

SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!
i only had about 4hours of slp since the day before. and FOR GOODNESS SAKE! im still awake!

i really need to sleep. this is like the last 2days i can fully enjoy my beauty sleep. then its back to the hectic schedule of work.

*

ok. today is a bad day for me after so long.
the things that he said just made me feel like shit.
i have always thought he really appreciated me after so long. even thou it came so much later than i hoped so.
i have always thought, this break up would let him see my importance.
but apparently, the ugly truth is people just simply treat U as dirt when they have come to realize u are not part of their life anymore.

when he says end of sad and tough journey and its time to treat himself better, it makes me feel like a total failure.
2years 10months have just gone down the drain.
the amount of effort, tears, joy and sadness = nothing.
i pains for the memories. not him.

somehow, this statement makes me feel worthless.
am i worthy of someone's love?
since all i bring for ppl, is sadness and burden.

dwelling so much in the pain is no gd.

i have always told myself, that things doesnt go on well is bcos i do not have enough courage to carry on. and that no one else to be blamed.
but den, i was blamed now. right now.
the feeling of wronged and accusation just sucks.

why do i always end up taking the brunt when it was a choice i made for the benefit of both party?

now that i know he actually feels relief that we are no longer tgt.
i began to feel it was a right choice after all.

all along i felt so selfish to leave bcos i dun haf the courage. but now, i feel glad that i have made that decision.


haiz. will things be better? i hoped so.

im gonna try to sleep now.
bye.