the 2nd most significant month of this year 2010 since i got married in july.
the arrival of my lil precious.
i can never describe the feelings that i had when i pushed him out with all my might and strength. when im already so drained and tired. when the pain is unbearable. but yet, its all nothing when i hug him in my arms for the very first time.
with this new addition in my life, i have never felt as complete as now. with a loving husband, and a lovely son.
today is x'mas eve. and im not outside or what. im at home, with my son lying beside me... and i have never regretted it. to me, this is the choice that i have made, and it has been proven, to be the correct decision thus far...
*
in this festive season, i pray and hope that my life would be peaceful from now on..
pray for the good health of my hubby and my son.
merry christmas EVERYONE! =D
Friday, December 24, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
november
exactly 1 more mth to go. this is so exciting. =D
worried and anticipating at the same time. ^.^
*
baby is away in Msia with his dad. and i miss him so much.
all alone, in the room... without him, everything seems to standstill.
work did help bring me out of the tots of him for awhile. but i realised everything i talked to mab about, consists of baby. i wonder how m i gonna cope if he has to go overseas for work or what in the future...
*
im thankful that my life turned out like this.
for i found someone who really loves me, and takes care of me.
making me the most impt person in his life.. and let me know just how impt he is to me.
perhaps there are many passerbys in our life, till we meet the one meant to be...
*
peace at work, from monday onwards.
hopefully. =D
and all the best to the other side.
*
so many celebrations going on these two weeks. gonna be so busy with work and events.
and im gonna miss so many celebrations in december. =S
nvm! i have a better cause of celebration =D
*
the empty space beside me isnt making me feel any better.
gonna try to slp now. AM shift tmr.
bye all.
worried and anticipating at the same time. ^.^
*
baby is away in Msia with his dad. and i miss him so much.
all alone, in the room... without him, everything seems to standstill.
work did help bring me out of the tots of him for awhile. but i realised everything i talked to mab about, consists of baby. i wonder how m i gonna cope if he has to go overseas for work or what in the future...
*
im thankful that my life turned out like this.
for i found someone who really loves me, and takes care of me.
making me the most impt person in his life.. and let me know just how impt he is to me.
perhaps there are many passerbys in our life, till we meet the one meant to be...
*
peace at work, from monday onwards.
hopefully. =D
and all the best to the other side.
*
so many celebrations going on these two weeks. gonna be so busy with work and events.
and im gonna miss so many celebrations in december. =S
nvm! i have a better cause of celebration =D
*
the empty space beside me isnt making me feel any better.
gonna try to slp now. AM shift tmr.
bye all.
Friday, October 1, 2010
OCT
so fast.
its another month now.
oh wells, as usual, life is still the same.
work. home. work. home.
din really get to meet up with friends.
all were so busy with their own lives.
*
life with hubby is gd as well.
he never fails to take gd care of me.
squabble, arguments, unhappiness do happen, but we are able to sort things out, which is good. rather than just leave it hanging, and wait for time to flush it away.
*
i just want to stick to my peaceful life now.
and i need no one, and nth to come and disturb my life.
when i say no one, i really meant it.
what happened in the past, lets just leave it to the past.
i really dun have much energy to go and think about it anymore.
i dun have much time to go and settle matters of the past, and i dun wish to have anything to do with it anymore.
its really great if friends are still an option to our lives. but if its really not possible, den pls just leave me alone.
i hope life is great for others as much as i hope life is gd for me as well. styms, we shouldnt be still holding on to the hatred that wasnt meant to be there at all.
styms all i ask for, is simply just be a gentleman and settle things by yourself, just like i settled the other things on my part. i really dun understand why do ppl have to be so calculative. why cant ppl just let go.
*
grandma is admitted to the hospital again.
i seriously have no idea what else can i do to help her.
looking at her helpless face, every time asking when she can go home... it jus breaks my heart.
even baby feels heartache for her. haiz.
why do she have to suffer so much?
*
felicia's son, dylan, is born 1month ago.
aww.. looking at him makes me look forward to ethan's delivery even more. seriously cant wait.
i just want to peacefully wait for my precious to be born into this world.
<3
bye all.
its another month now.
oh wells, as usual, life is still the same.
work. home. work. home.
din really get to meet up with friends.
all were so busy with their own lives.
*
life with hubby is gd as well.
he never fails to take gd care of me.
squabble, arguments, unhappiness do happen, but we are able to sort things out, which is good. rather than just leave it hanging, and wait for time to flush it away.
*
i just want to stick to my peaceful life now.
and i need no one, and nth to come and disturb my life.
when i say no one, i really meant it.
what happened in the past, lets just leave it to the past.
i really dun have much energy to go and think about it anymore.
i dun have much time to go and settle matters of the past, and i dun wish to have anything to do with it anymore.
its really great if friends are still an option to our lives. but if its really not possible, den pls just leave me alone.
i hope life is great for others as much as i hope life is gd for me as well. styms, we shouldnt be still holding on to the hatred that wasnt meant to be there at all.
styms all i ask for, is simply just be a gentleman and settle things by yourself, just like i settled the other things on my part. i really dun understand why do ppl have to be so calculative. why cant ppl just let go.
*
grandma is admitted to the hospital again.
i seriously have no idea what else can i do to help her.
looking at her helpless face, every time asking when she can go home... it jus breaks my heart.
even baby feels heartache for her. haiz.
why do she have to suffer so much?
*
felicia's son, dylan, is born 1month ago.
aww.. looking at him makes me look forward to ethan's delivery even more. seriously cant wait.
i just want to peacefully wait for my precious to be born into this world.
<3
bye all.
Friday, September 3, 2010
OMG
omg! its sept already. 2 mths nv update blog.
alot of things happened.
work is like shit.
but all i can do is perservere on.
been ultra moody nowadays. i hope i can be happier. but it seems so hard with all the depressing things thats happening at work.
the only thing that i looked forward to is coming home everyday and sees hubby.
he's my happy nut =)
dunno what else to write.
tata!
alot of things happened.
work is like shit.
but all i can do is perservere on.
been ultra moody nowadays. i hope i can be happier. but it seems so hard with all the depressing things thats happening at work.
the only thing that i looked forward to is coming home everyday and sees hubby.
he's my happy nut =)
dunno what else to write.
tata!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
married
happily married.
hubby is the best person on earth.
love him so much.
=)
gotta go back to work soon. SIANS big time. but well, life is liddat. have to go back to reality.
im loving my life. =)
hubby is the best person on earth.
love him so much.
=)
gotta go back to work soon. SIANS big time. but well, life is liddat. have to go back to reality.
im loving my life. =)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
frustrations
i am very very frustrated right now.
things are not going well.
everything seems to meet their probs.
yet baby feels that i am just flaring temper at him.
i mean.. how to stay calm when everything just dun go your way? how to stay calm, when u tot everything is settled and yet theres changes again?
how to stay calm, when the big day is near, and everything is not ready yet?
haiz.
i am really very very pissed. REALLY.
i dunno what to do.
i have NEVER cried so many times a day.
im just so tired of trying to make sure everything goes on smoothly.
im so tired of accomodating everyone.
im so tired of EVERYTHING.
my goodness.
i am really helpless right now.
VERY HELPLESS.
i was so looking fwd to the day i lawfully call my baby my husband.
so looking fwd to share our joy with everyone.
but right now, HAIZ. i dun have any more verbs to describe my feelings.
all i wan to do now is to cry. haiz.
things are not going well.
everything seems to meet their probs.
yet baby feels that i am just flaring temper at him.
i mean.. how to stay calm when everything just dun go your way? how to stay calm, when u tot everything is settled and yet theres changes again?
how to stay calm, when the big day is near, and everything is not ready yet?
haiz.
i am really very very pissed. REALLY.
i dunno what to do.
i have NEVER cried so many times a day.
im just so tired of trying to make sure everything goes on smoothly.
im so tired of accomodating everyone.
im so tired of EVERYTHING.
my goodness.
i am really helpless right now.
VERY HELPLESS.
i was so looking fwd to the day i lawfully call my baby my husband.
so looking fwd to share our joy with everyone.
but right now, HAIZ. i dun have any more verbs to describe my feelings.
all i wan to do now is to cry. haiz.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
1week
exactly one more week to the union with baby boy. =)
excited ++. =D
so many things to do. so many last min stuffs to prepare. me and baby is like so HEADACHE. lol!
gotta make sure everything is settled. its gonna be a smooth wedding. its our wedding =)
we know we gonna strive hard to make our marriage work. yes we do. =)
love my baby boy so much =)
excited ++. =D
so many things to do. so many last min stuffs to prepare. me and baby is like so HEADACHE. lol!
gotta make sure everything is settled. its gonna be a smooth wedding. its our wedding =)
we know we gonna strive hard to make our marriage work. yes we do. =)
love my baby boy so much =)
Friday, June 25, 2010
LONG time no blog
wow~ its already coming to the end of june.
birthday was peaceful. had nice dinner with precious. yums! <3
i realised despite the fact that everyday i complain about how boring life can be, alot of things actually happened in my life. ALOT.
work. school. family. precious. friends. loads.
work is best to leave it out of the internet world now. if not i dunno who would backstab me and *print screen* to show to the bosses. *grrr*
school: exams over. preparing for new sem. did i mention i didnt really study? hah! if i could pass, its really thank god. =p
gonna buck up man. must be getting way too busy with the **** course. haha!
family: all busy preparing for my wedding. oh did i mention? hah! im getting married!!! lol~
precious: decided to tie the knot together. spend the rest of our lives with each other. no one has made me feel so happy in my life before. no one has ever let me to be so nonsensical in their presence. no one has ever made me feel that this is definitely not a rash decision to settle down. no one has ever touched my heart so deeply.
no doubt past relationships have their memories that we may never forget. but we both know, what sparked between us, is sth we never had before, and we treasures it alot. and we want it to last for as long as we remember.
as he promises, we will accept the past, and walk towards OUR future. <3
friends: all been busy. kor is finally back frm thailand. goodness. was so worried when he went there, esp in unsettled times. jerome is still somewhere out in the ocean. everyone else is busy with their lives. lol! but we all know, we are there in each other's heart. =) tts what friends are for. =D
myself: been busy with work, preparations for wedding.. tired out.. =*
but seeing baby's face at the end of the day is such a comfort. he never fails to make me smile =)
*
the proposal that came along was *wow*.
touched my heart so deep that i cudnt help but to have tears in my eyes.
every single word that he said seems to be music to the ears. and the look on his face. wow. i love this boy so much. =)
if theres ever one thing that i need to die for, that would be for him. =)
birthday was peaceful. had nice dinner with precious. yums! <3
i realised despite the fact that everyday i complain about how boring life can be, alot of things actually happened in my life. ALOT.
work. school. family. precious. friends. loads.
work is best to leave it out of the internet world now. if not i dunno who would backstab me and *print screen* to show to the bosses. *grrr*
school: exams over. preparing for new sem. did i mention i didnt really study? hah! if i could pass, its really thank god. =p
gonna buck up man. must be getting way too busy with the **** course. haha!
family: all busy preparing for my wedding. oh did i mention? hah! im getting married!!! lol~
precious: decided to tie the knot together. spend the rest of our lives with each other. no one has made me feel so happy in my life before. no one has ever let me to be so nonsensical in their presence. no one has ever made me feel that this is definitely not a rash decision to settle down. no one has ever touched my heart so deeply.
no doubt past relationships have their memories that we may never forget. but we both know, what sparked between us, is sth we never had before, and we treasures it alot. and we want it to last for as long as we remember.
as he promises, we will accept the past, and walk towards OUR future. <3
friends: all been busy. kor is finally back frm thailand. goodness. was so worried when he went there, esp in unsettled times. jerome is still somewhere out in the ocean. everyone else is busy with their lives. lol! but we all know, we are there in each other's heart. =) tts what friends are for. =D
myself: been busy with work, preparations for wedding.. tired out.. =*
but seeing baby's face at the end of the day is such a comfort. he never fails to make me smile =)
*
the proposal that came along was *wow*.
touched my heart so deep that i cudnt help but to have tears in my eyes.
every single word that he said seems to be music to the ears. and the look on his face. wow. i love this boy so much. =)
if theres ever one thing that i need to die for, that would be for him. =)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
woah
wow! its june already.
and my birthday is coming! hahahahha!
oh well. thinking back. last year was busy preparing for my big 21st birthday bash.
this year probably gonna be just a romantic bday celebration with darling boy.
no raring birthday bash. haha!
so many things happened since last year.
so many things revealed themselves.
true colors revealed. and im thankful i left.
sometimes, when we try to hard to make things as peaceful as it can be, some ppl just like to stir up trouble.
and den tell u that you r e one giving ppl trouble and ask u to stop.
how childish.
actually, in life, we have been thru many things. going through alot of ups and downs. making decisions tht may not be the best. or even the worst decision in life.
but all these, brings sth into ur life.
telling you what are the things you can accept. what are the things you cant.
what are the things u want. what are the things you dun want.
shouldnt we all be at least appreciative to what has been brought into our life?
i always believe everything in life happen for a purpose. be it a learning point or a lesson to you. so if i had to choose all over again, i would still make the same choice.
we may not be able to do every thing right. but den, try to make the best out of everything.
what happened between us is sth that we should handle it ourselves and should not involve the older generation. to incur their wrath is a no no.
and of cos, i dun wish to see them losing the years of friendship over this kinda childish issue.
i love my family for they are always there for me.
i love them becos they understands me and supports my decisions.
and their forever-ready to sacrifice for me spirit. they are just the best.
and i am thankful that alvin baby came into my life.
i wouldnt be able to imagine now that if my life is still continuing that 3years that was deemed as wasted.
i dun care how other ppl may think. thinking that now is still honeymoon period or what.
but what me and baby shared is sth different.
totally different from my past experience.
and i know, i can trust him with e rest of my life.
for one thing i am sure, he loves me and would never insult me.
styms all we ask for is just simple care and concern.
it should not evolve around buying things and thats concern.
it should not always be " i buy for u that one not enough meh"?
it should not always be i have to be understanding to u and yet u cant even send me a sms,
just bcos ppl do things not to your way doesnt mean that person is a bad person.
do unto others like what you want others to do unto you.
if you didnt treat ppl like shit, ppl wouldnt do it to you.
think about it.
i have enough of getting scolded suddenly for sth ppl said or i said. or sth i do.
i have enough of being picked on as fat and stuffs.
i know i m not good enough.
but i need someone who loves me for who i am.
im also a woman who needs love from my partner.
im also a woman who needs care and concern.
i cant always be waiting..
*
I thought that chapter of my life has ended long time ago.
but some ppl just like to dig it out and make a fuss about it.
i want it to end it right where i allowed it to be.
and nth else.
i accept blessings that come true from heart.
fake blessings, pls keep to yourself.
*
baby has been great support. and i am really thankful.
time to move on with our life and our future baby boy.
i love you =D
i dun care how sarcastic ppl can be to you. for you know i love u. =)
and my birthday is coming! hahahahha!
oh well. thinking back. last year was busy preparing for my big 21st birthday bash.
this year probably gonna be just a romantic bday celebration with darling boy.
no raring birthday bash. haha!
so many things happened since last year.
so many things revealed themselves.
true colors revealed. and im thankful i left.
sometimes, when we try to hard to make things as peaceful as it can be, some ppl just like to stir up trouble.
and den tell u that you r e one giving ppl trouble and ask u to stop.
how childish.
actually, in life, we have been thru many things. going through alot of ups and downs. making decisions tht may not be the best. or even the worst decision in life.
but all these, brings sth into ur life.
telling you what are the things you can accept. what are the things you cant.
what are the things u want. what are the things you dun want.
shouldnt we all be at least appreciative to what has been brought into our life?
i always believe everything in life happen for a purpose. be it a learning point or a lesson to you. so if i had to choose all over again, i would still make the same choice.
we may not be able to do every thing right. but den, try to make the best out of everything.
what happened between us is sth that we should handle it ourselves and should not involve the older generation. to incur their wrath is a no no.
and of cos, i dun wish to see them losing the years of friendship over this kinda childish issue.
i love my family for they are always there for me.
i love them becos they understands me and supports my decisions.
and their forever-ready to sacrifice for me spirit. they are just the best.
and i am thankful that alvin baby came into my life.
i wouldnt be able to imagine now that if my life is still continuing that 3years that was deemed as wasted.
i dun care how other ppl may think. thinking that now is still honeymoon period or what.
but what me and baby shared is sth different.
totally different from my past experience.
and i know, i can trust him with e rest of my life.
for one thing i am sure, he loves me and would never insult me.
styms all we ask for is just simple care and concern.
it should not evolve around buying things and thats concern.
it should not always be " i buy for u that one not enough meh"?
it should not always be i have to be understanding to u and yet u cant even send me a sms,
just bcos ppl do things not to your way doesnt mean that person is a bad person.
do unto others like what you want others to do unto you.
if you didnt treat ppl like shit, ppl wouldnt do it to you.
think about it.
i have enough of getting scolded suddenly for sth ppl said or i said. or sth i do.
i have enough of being picked on as fat and stuffs.
i know i m not good enough.
but i need someone who loves me for who i am.
im also a woman who needs love from my partner.
im also a woman who needs care and concern.
i cant always be waiting..
*
I thought that chapter of my life has ended long time ago.
but some ppl just like to dig it out and make a fuss about it.
i want it to end it right where i allowed it to be.
and nth else.
i accept blessings that come true from heart.
fake blessings, pls keep to yourself.
*
baby has been great support. and i am really thankful.
time to move on with our life and our future baby boy.
i love you =D
i dun care how sarcastic ppl can be to you. for you know i love u. =)
Sunday, May 23, 2010
bad bad health
its been bad health. really bad health for me this year.
i never tot i would be admitted twice a year. tmd.
*
somehow, alot of things like to happen all tgt. but i believe im strong enough to handle.
i will face it all as it comes.
afterall, without bearing hopes, there wouldnt be much disappointment.
even thou this time rd the expected may not be given to me, but im ready to face it.
somehow, with all these, i hope to just have a more peaceful last year of work den off i go.
more than ever ready to leave this place.
*
the hospital stay is so heartwarming. everyday without fail, my darlings took the trouble to come to my ward and cheer me up. sit by my side and pei me. joke ard and make me luffs.
they made the stay more bearable than ever. =)
THANKS ALL who came. =D loves u guys loads.
not forgetting, my baby darling boy who stayed by my side without fail, worrying for me when im so ill... happy for me when im better... the fun and luffs that he brought into my life.. no words can describe my feelings. i thank god for sending him into my life. making me know how much someone can love me.. and how much i can love someone..
*
and of cos, to darling veron, wanyi and sushan, their care and concern were of no less. and it meant equally impt to me. didnt want to trouble them to come all the way down to see me.
<3
*
i never tot i would be admitted twice a year. tmd.
*
somehow, alot of things like to happen all tgt. but i believe im strong enough to handle.
i will face it all as it comes.
afterall, without bearing hopes, there wouldnt be much disappointment.
even thou this time rd the expected may not be given to me, but im ready to face it.
somehow, with all these, i hope to just have a more peaceful last year of work den off i go.
more than ever ready to leave this place.
*
the hospital stay is so heartwarming. everyday without fail, my darlings took the trouble to come to my ward and cheer me up. sit by my side and pei me. joke ard and make me luffs.
they made the stay more bearable than ever. =)
THANKS ALL who came. =D loves u guys loads.
not forgetting, my baby darling boy who stayed by my side without fail, worrying for me when im so ill... happy for me when im better... the fun and luffs that he brought into my life.. no words can describe my feelings. i thank god for sending him into my life. making me know how much someone can love me.. and how much i can love someone..
*
and of cos, to darling veron, wanyi and sushan, their care and concern were of no less. and it meant equally impt to me. didnt want to trouble them to come all the way down to see me.
<3
*
Monday, May 17, 2010
wow~
been AGES.
its mid may now. how FAST time flies.
so many things happened lahhh!
gd, bad...
troublesome~! hahahah.
putting ourselves thru all the hard work, hopefully it brings about fruitful returns.
i never considered putting all these efforts is hard work. bcos these are things that i willing, and wanna do for him. tiring, yes. but its all worth it. definitely.
*
work has been OK. except for some spoilers. but den again, thats life. we cant expect work to be smooth sailing at all times. i have learnt to take things at an easier pace. hopefully i would be happier this way. styms i realise, expecting to do the best and maintain the highest standard is only from my own perspective. and it is extremely hard if other ppl dun do the same thing.
we are always expected to be understanding to ppl in ED. but who will be understanding to us?
if we have always been treated fairly, things would have been changed. i believed so...
*
anw, im so charged nw. rest is like wonder pill. =) feels so much better than yesterday.
i need to go back to ED tmr during my off day again to do some stuffs. sians big time.
alrighty. gtg.
bye all..
*im still waiting*
its mid may now. how FAST time flies.
so many things happened lahhh!
gd, bad...
troublesome~! hahahah.
putting ourselves thru all the hard work, hopefully it brings about fruitful returns.
i never considered putting all these efforts is hard work. bcos these are things that i willing, and wanna do for him. tiring, yes. but its all worth it. definitely.
*
work has been OK. except for some spoilers. but den again, thats life. we cant expect work to be smooth sailing at all times. i have learnt to take things at an easier pace. hopefully i would be happier this way. styms i realise, expecting to do the best and maintain the highest standard is only from my own perspective. and it is extremely hard if other ppl dun do the same thing.
we are always expected to be understanding to ppl in ED. but who will be understanding to us?
if we have always been treated fairly, things would have been changed. i believed so...
*
anw, im so charged nw. rest is like wonder pill. =) feels so much better than yesterday.
i need to go back to ED tmr during my off day again to do some stuffs. sians big time.
alrighty. gtg.
bye all..
*im still waiting*
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
*blow*
*blow away the dust*
ok. been some time since i last blogged.
dun haf time.
dun haf access to comp at ease.
baby has been REAL sick last week.
spent my day offs all looking after him. but its all worth it. =)
im glad he has recovered now, and strong. =D
alot of things has been going on.
alot of planning.
alot of worries.
alot of what-need-to-be-done stuffs.
too much.
im not backing out becos of all these.
im just looking at how things could have become if we rushed into it and im really afraid.
i dun wan things to turn ugly.
i dun wan to lose the happy things that i have now.
and yet i was looking forward to the day.
haiz. what should i do?
im really, lost in between all these..
i really dunno what to do.
ok. been some time since i last blogged.
dun haf time.
dun haf access to comp at ease.
baby has been REAL sick last week.
spent my day offs all looking after him. but its all worth it. =)
im glad he has recovered now, and strong. =D
alot of things has been going on.
alot of planning.
alot of worries.
alot of what-need-to-be-done stuffs.
too much.
im not backing out becos of all these.
im just looking at how things could have become if we rushed into it and im really afraid.
i dun wan things to turn ugly.
i dun wan to lose the happy things that i have now.
and yet i was looking forward to the day.
haiz. what should i do?
im really, lost in between all these..
i really dunno what to do.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
finally!
finally! 2000 words of assignment is completed!
seriously, i think i crapped thru that. if i pass, thank goodness. if not, blame myself.
wadever is it, relieved is the only word. =D
*
his one phone call, can totally change my mood.
thats how impt he is to me. so important.
i love my darling boy.
*
slack slack slack. gotta start doing bio assignment! *oh no*
im so tired. bye!
seriously, i think i crapped thru that. if i pass, thank goodness. if not, blame myself.
wadever is it, relieved is the only word. =D
*
his one phone call, can totally change my mood.
thats how impt he is to me. so important.
i love my darling boy.
*
slack slack slack. gotta start doing bio assignment! *oh no*
im so tired. bye!
Monday, April 26, 2010
emotional
many things have happened within these few days. and i wasnt feeling very gd abt it.
i tot things would be easy. i tot we would work things out.
but somehow, i feel a tug.
i cant put a finger on what is it exactly about. but, i just dun feel gd about it.
perhaps i needed more care and concern more than ever. i dunno.
i feel freaking weak right now.
i really hate the emotional part of me RIGHT NOW.
can i just be selfish and stop giving for once?
i need a lot of love from my loved ones.
i dun want to be a burden. i really want this to work and last. but i'm really feeling damn helpless right now.
my eyes are hurting and i have not finished my assignment that is due at 4pm today. KILL ME PLS. haiz.
i tot things would be easy. i tot we would work things out.
but somehow, i feel a tug.
i cant put a finger on what is it exactly about. but, i just dun feel gd about it.
perhaps i needed more care and concern more than ever. i dunno.
i feel freaking weak right now.
i really hate the emotional part of me RIGHT NOW.
can i just be selfish and stop giving for once?
i need a lot of love from my loved ones.
i dun want to be a burden. i really want this to work and last. but i'm really feeling damn helpless right now.
my eyes are hurting and i have not finished my assignment that is due at 4pm today. KILL ME PLS. haiz.
Friday, April 23, 2010
missed badly
im only halfway thru my 4days of night shifts. and its torturing. not of the work. but of not being able to meet my boy.
=(
i miss him.
miss hanging out with him, having so much of fun and luffs.
miss nua-ing with him around.
miss looking at him and feel "thank god i met him".
miss him looking at me, and i know that im the only person in his eyes.
ahhh~!
*
and i miss laopo amanda. its been like so long since i last met her lah! the last time was so brief! just a hug and poof! she's gone to take her bus. =(
*
and MAB and NANA!!! they are back from bali! bet they had hell lotsa fun. i miss hanging out with them. =S
*
i decided to just do read ups now. and den chiong assignment on monday night instead. bcos i just cant start typing while at work. NO FLOW! =S
*
haiz.
i want a getaway. but i cant. haiz. freaking sians like shit!
*
I MISS MY DUMB DUMB ALVIN LAM!!! =S
=(
i miss him.
miss hanging out with him, having so much of fun and luffs.
miss nua-ing with him around.
miss looking at him and feel "thank god i met him".
miss him looking at me, and i know that im the only person in his eyes.
ahhh~!
*
and i miss laopo amanda. its been like so long since i last met her lah! the last time was so brief! just a hug and poof! she's gone to take her bus. =(
*
and MAB and NANA!!! they are back from bali! bet they had hell lotsa fun. i miss hanging out with them. =S
*
i decided to just do read ups now. and den chiong assignment on monday night instead. bcos i just cant start typing while at work. NO FLOW! =S
*
haiz.
i want a getaway. but i cant. haiz. freaking sians like shit!
*
I MISS MY DUMB DUMB ALVIN LAM!!! =S
Thursday, April 22, 2010
when life's in dumps, he shines =D
oh wells.
assignment STILL NOT COMPLETED. and i wanted to like do sth during my night shift. and WTH! i cant open up my files in thumbdrive. TMD. im so gonna EMAIL it to my acc when i reach hm. =(
anw, went to NLB. cool. i cnnt stay in a lib and mug my assignment for >4hours. cant settled down. IM HYPERACTIVE! hahahaha.
had uberly nice dinner with my boy. OMG. how great can life be? lol!
the constant luffs and fun just cheered me up BIG TIME.
*
monga is pretty nice. esp with the shuai ge in it. wahahahah! long movie. took a drag out of me thou.
*
woke up SUPER DUPER EARLY today (22/4), thou i was already waking up later than my peeps.
but den again, im on NIGHT! so im like all awake the whole night.
lectures. met up with baby boy.
oh god. it pains to see him suffer. how i wish i could just storm into his office and fire all the ass-thinkers. =(
i hoped my crappiness did cheer him up a lil. =D
*
had aixin dinner from dad. he bought my requested char kway teow with no complaints. haha!
and even bought other food like otah and oyster omelette. YUMMILICIOUS!
*
work was great. with fun ppl. with cool environment.
had a news. cool.
totally unexpected. and thats how life amazes us.
i was totally calm.. *pats myself*
*
i hope it would turn out well.
i really do.
especially when this is what i wanna do. what i wanna go thru.
i hope to clear everything and feel better. its getting abit disturbing. =(
bye all. =D
i love my dumb dumb alvin lam =D
assignment STILL NOT COMPLETED. and i wanted to like do sth during my night shift. and WTH! i cant open up my files in thumbdrive. TMD. im so gonna EMAIL it to my acc when i reach hm. =(
anw, went to NLB. cool. i cnnt stay in a lib and mug my assignment for >4hours. cant settled down. IM HYPERACTIVE! hahahaha.
had uberly nice dinner with my boy. OMG. how great can life be? lol!
the constant luffs and fun just cheered me up BIG TIME.
*
monga is pretty nice. esp with the shuai ge in it. wahahahah! long movie. took a drag out of me thou.
*
woke up SUPER DUPER EARLY today (22/4), thou i was already waking up later than my peeps.
but den again, im on NIGHT! so im like all awake the whole night.
lectures. met up with baby boy.
oh god. it pains to see him suffer. how i wish i could just storm into his office and fire all the ass-thinkers. =(
i hoped my crappiness did cheer him up a lil. =D
*
had aixin dinner from dad. he bought my requested char kway teow with no complaints. haha!
and even bought other food like otah and oyster omelette. YUMMILICIOUS!
*
work was great. with fun ppl. with cool environment.
had a news. cool.
totally unexpected. and thats how life amazes us.
i was totally calm.. *pats myself*
*
i hope it would turn out well.
i really do.
especially when this is what i wanna do. what i wanna go thru.
i hope to clear everything and feel better. its getting abit disturbing. =(
bye all. =D
i love my dumb dumb alvin lam =D
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
drunk with her company!!
21 April.
started the day with a 12.30 pm after a nice long zzz at home.
had to practically drag our tushies out of the house after washing up.
had a chickenlicious rice at the coffeeshop for lunch with bro jerome and baby oinks.
jerome scooted off thereafter, while baby girl and i head over to national library for some studies.
headed to the 7th storey of the library and we set anchor at the study table.
started at 1345 hrs, baby girl began typing furiously on her macbook, stressed and blank.
helped her with a little of her assignment, but my mind soon too went blank.
felt so helpless. offered her my shoulder so she can rest when she needs to close her eyes.
after our torturous ordeal in the library, we finished off with a very very nice dinner at LENA'S.
omg their food is like OOMPH! both of us had ribeye steaks, 'caramel' frittos, mushroom frittos, a lychee beer, caramel frappe, and coke float. ummm..... YUMS! :D
seeing the stressful look lifted from baby girl's face, makes the dinner all so yummy.
she was all SMILES. making all sunflowers turn away in shame. :))
had ALOT of sweet laughters along the way to Ilumna and back to J8.
oh the bliss. 'HEY ALVIN!!' and the spastic small mouth that baby girl kept laughing her ass off.
met up with jerome at J8 after that, and we had koi, with almost-saltless fries at macs.
pissed baby girl to no end. HAH! ms floor-manager.
we took it to the movies to watch a desperately long show, MONGA.
fight, kill, sex, brotherhood, betrayal.
nice show thoughs. hoho!
baby girl biked jerome home after the movies, and i went home.
had a nice good night tele convo with baby oinks, summarising our day, and all the fun!
~the day ended, drunk with her company.~
started the day with a 12.30 pm after a nice long zzz at home.
had to practically drag our tushies out of the house after washing up.
had a chickenlicious rice at the coffeeshop for lunch with bro jerome and baby oinks.
jerome scooted off thereafter, while baby girl and i head over to national library for some studies.
headed to the 7th storey of the library and we set anchor at the study table.
started at 1345 hrs, baby girl began typing furiously on her macbook, stressed and blank.
helped her with a little of her assignment, but my mind soon too went blank.
felt so helpless. offered her my shoulder so she can rest when she needs to close her eyes.
after our torturous ordeal in the library, we finished off with a very very nice dinner at LENA'S.
omg their food is like OOMPH! both of us had ribeye steaks, 'caramel' frittos, mushroom frittos, a lychee beer, caramel frappe, and coke float. ummm..... YUMS! :D
seeing the stressful look lifted from baby girl's face, makes the dinner all so yummy.
she was all SMILES. making all sunflowers turn away in shame. :))
had ALOT of sweet laughters along the way to Ilumna and back to J8.
oh the bliss. 'HEY ALVIN!!' and the spastic small mouth that baby girl kept laughing her ass off.
met up with jerome at J8 after that, and we had koi, with almost-saltless fries at macs.
pissed baby girl to no end. HAH! ms floor-manager.
we took it to the movies to watch a desperately long show, MONGA.
fight, kill, sex, brotherhood, betrayal.
nice show thoughs. hoho!
baby girl biked jerome home after the movies, and i went home.
had a nice good night tele convo with baby oinks, summarising our day, and all the fun!
~the day ended, drunk with her company.~
Monday, April 19, 2010
updates!
okie dokie.
time for some updates.
sat:
supposed to go for a play with liting n darling boy. but i suddenly had this sharp abdo pain.
den it was like all gone after an hour or so. TMD!
but anw, went out for RnR with the rest.
got high~ omg.
damn freaking paisei.
lucky i wasnt totally wasted. if not, HAH! alvin lam is so gonna laugh at me. lol!
*
sun:
went to Jurong swimming complex for chillout with the peeps.
its been AGES since i last went there.
and serve us right, all of us got BURNT.
ahh!
lobsters lobsters everywhere! lol!
had lotsa fun thou. with all the gay moves and color diffusion theory. hahah!
den went back to baby's place, and i SLEPT like almost the rest of the day.
what a relaxing day. I LIKE! hehehe.
*
mon:
had ACLS practical test.
somehow i was just stoning. didnt even read up on the algorithm.
den assigned to resus. ran like mad and pulled the trolley like crazy. which resulted in my arm aches NOW. =(
baby boy had a super duper bad day.
was so helpless. the only thing i could do was to send him pictures =X
pains to know he is suffering =(
i hate his boss. =S childish shit who dun even know how to prioritize. is this hw our tax money are spent? argh!
went for class and OMG. i seriously dun understand a shit.
=(
met up with baby boy to cheer him up.
he ended up cheering me up with koi and brought me to have my craves char kway teow instead. love him so much =D
*
time to go. update again!
loves
time for some updates.
sat:
supposed to go for a play with liting n darling boy. but i suddenly had this sharp abdo pain.
den it was like all gone after an hour or so. TMD!
but anw, went out for RnR with the rest.
got high~ omg.
damn freaking paisei.
lucky i wasnt totally wasted. if not, HAH! alvin lam is so gonna laugh at me. lol!
*
sun:
went to Jurong swimming complex for chillout with the peeps.
its been AGES since i last went there.
and serve us right, all of us got BURNT.
ahh!
lobsters lobsters everywhere! lol!
had lotsa fun thou. with all the gay moves and color diffusion theory. hahah!
den went back to baby's place, and i SLEPT like almost the rest of the day.
what a relaxing day. I LIKE! hehehe.
*
mon:
had ACLS practical test.
somehow i was just stoning. didnt even read up on the algorithm.
den assigned to resus. ran like mad and pulled the trolley like crazy. which resulted in my arm aches NOW. =(
baby boy had a super duper bad day.
was so helpless. the only thing i could do was to send him pictures =X
pains to know he is suffering =(
i hate his boss. =S childish shit who dun even know how to prioritize. is this hw our tax money are spent? argh!
went for class and OMG. i seriously dun understand a shit.
=(
met up with baby boy to cheer him up.
he ended up cheering me up with koi and brought me to have my craves char kway teow instead. love him so much =D
*
time to go. update again!
loves
Sunday, April 18, 2010
monday is the farts...
nothing went well today.
i wonder when is the next time i see my baby moo.
if its the weekend, i can totally see my weekdays go down down down down, DOWN.
Monday.is.the.FARTS.
i wonder when is the next time i see my baby moo.
if its the weekend, i can totally see my weekdays go down down down down, DOWN.
Monday.is.the.FARTS.
Friday, April 16, 2010
what a day!
woke up at 7am when im supposed to start work at 7. i blame the weather for being too gd to sleep in. hahaha!
i didnt even hear my alarm.
went to work. TEST.
super stressed.
39/50.
passing 40.
but thank goodness gt 1 qns i got it correct but got typo.
ACLS coordinator say let me pass. WAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!
shuang.
lucky day! =D
spoken to my dearie. she said its jus a passing phase. i strongly believe its cos i didnt balance all out well.
i will do my best to balance everything. IM SORRY! =D
traced my CT report.
gotta consult senior first. den decide.
i hope its nth. =S
*
got a play to go to later.
and swimming tmr. I HOPE I CAN GO! =D
i didnt even hear my alarm.
went to work. TEST.
super stressed.
39/50.
passing 40.
but thank goodness gt 1 qns i got it correct but got typo.
ACLS coordinator say let me pass. WAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!
shuang.
lucky day! =D
spoken to my dearie. she said its jus a passing phase. i strongly believe its cos i didnt balance all out well.
i will do my best to balance everything. IM SORRY! =D
traced my CT report.
gotta consult senior first. den decide.
i hope its nth. =S
*
got a play to go to later.
and swimming tmr. I HOPE I CAN GO! =D
Woah
Woah. What a day!
Ytd work was gd.
Den had a talk wif darling.
Realised hw insensitive I was. :( I shud really change.
Met baby boy n laopo for supper. I was in dumps when waiting for em. So kinda gif em a shock by seeing my tearing. :/
sups was gd. I wan hei mee e next tym. Hahaha!
I knew i cudnt let baby hug me. When he did, my tears just refused to listen and kept flowing. I just cudnt stop. e pain was so bad. Bcos I didn't know I was such a bad friend.
Oh geez. Thank goodness baby was there to cushion e pain.
*
went for medical appt today. Need do ct a/p cos of e persistent pain. So ended up not going to work.
E contrAst is horrible shit. I drank till I nearly puke. And I nearly cried.
Den the hot flushes from e iv contrast. Horrible.
Wads worst was I had to nbm n watch baby eat. Haha!
Den he gt so jealous of tht kiddy boy at fish n co.
Jeez... I love my baby boy so much! So much so that no one else would affect anything. He is sooo silly to get jealous over these. Lol!
Nw, I'm gonna eat even thou tummy still feels queasy from e contrast.
Bye all
Ytd work was gd.
Den had a talk wif darling.
Realised hw insensitive I was. :( I shud really change.
Met baby boy n laopo for supper. I was in dumps when waiting for em. So kinda gif em a shock by seeing my tearing. :/
sups was gd. I wan hei mee e next tym. Hahaha!
I knew i cudnt let baby hug me. When he did, my tears just refused to listen and kept flowing. I just cudnt stop. e pain was so bad. Bcos I didn't know I was such a bad friend.
Oh geez. Thank goodness baby was there to cushion e pain.
*
went for medical appt today. Need do ct a/p cos of e persistent pain. So ended up not going to work.
E contrAst is horrible shit. I drank till I nearly puke. And I nearly cried.
Den the hot flushes from e iv contrast. Horrible.
Wads worst was I had to nbm n watch baby eat. Haha!
Den he gt so jealous of tht kiddy boy at fish n co.
Jeez... I love my baby boy so much! So much so that no one else would affect anything. He is sooo silly to get jealous over these. Lol!
Nw, I'm gonna eat even thou tummy still feels queasy from e contrast.
Bye all
Thursday, April 15, 2010
another hurdle to cross
ytd was the glums.
started the day at work where returns issues became a problem, and the problem just blow out of hand, when the colour gave it all away.
can't stand the boss, can't stand the way that baboon pinpoints my mistakes like it was life threatening and worse, to the whole freaking department.
work was shit, till afternoon came and i did despatching work so not in office, won't see that dongalonkong shit face. hah!
lunch with baby girl turned sour when she found out i hid things from her.
felt so terribly bad about the incident.
but as sweet as she always is, she just threw in the sugar and things went sweet after that.
bought her yami yoghurt and gawd, her face of everlasting beams.. :))
sent her to the lobby of her workplace thereafter, and wished her good day, the moo-ish way! <3
after work it poured like everlasting curtains.
drenched when i hit school, and looked like a total mess then.
school was a bummer, as the lecturer turned pms-like, and started teaching the lesson proper when school's due to end in 20 mins.
everyone was like.. WTF.. epic.
after school was so much better.
had a good YUMS supper of porridge, macaroni and wu xiang with bestie and baby girl.
walked behind my baby moo, and hugged her tightly, but i eneded up noticing her tears, her pain, her helplessness.
whatever she felt then shot through me, yet i had to keep it within me as bestie was present and i couldn't bring it up to talk.
all i could do was stand by her, hold her hand and give her encouragements and supports.
baby moo biked me home after that, and she broke down in my arms.
she cried and cried, tears cascading free flow down onto my shoulders.
my heart totally smashed, as she continued to tear, yet i could only stroke her hair and hug her.
she then explained everything that transpired and how the talk with her friend went.
i could understand the loneliness she was going through, while she keeps pinning the blame on herself.
i encouraged her, and told her some ways friends can still come back with each other.
i would give anything in the world to see her smile again, even if it needs me to see less of her, so she can spend time with her friends whom she care and cherish for deeply.
even if the whole world turns their back on her, i wouldn't.
cos she means the world to me. <3
i just want her to be happy. that's all i ask for. :))
she biked home after that, and seeing her go zoom, i suddenly felt lonely.
but i knew i would be seeing her for lunch today!
so...... its gonna be another nice lunchtime with baby moo!!
the day ended...with another hurdle to cross. ~~
started the day at work where returns issues became a problem, and the problem just blow out of hand, when the colour gave it all away.
can't stand the boss, can't stand the way that baboon pinpoints my mistakes like it was life threatening and worse, to the whole freaking department.
work was shit, till afternoon came and i did despatching work so not in office, won't see that dongalonkong shit face. hah!
lunch with baby girl turned sour when she found out i hid things from her.
felt so terribly bad about the incident.
but as sweet as she always is, she just threw in the sugar and things went sweet after that.
bought her yami yoghurt and gawd, her face of everlasting beams.. :))
sent her to the lobby of her workplace thereafter, and wished her good day, the moo-ish way! <3
after work it poured like everlasting curtains.
drenched when i hit school, and looked like a total mess then.
school was a bummer, as the lecturer turned pms-like, and started teaching the lesson proper when school's due to end in 20 mins.
everyone was like.. WTF.. epic.
after school was so much better.
had a good YUMS supper of porridge, macaroni and wu xiang with bestie and baby girl.
walked behind my baby moo, and hugged her tightly, but i eneded up noticing her tears, her pain, her helplessness.
whatever she felt then shot through me, yet i had to keep it within me as bestie was present and i couldn't bring it up to talk.
all i could do was stand by her, hold her hand and give her encouragements and supports.
baby moo biked me home after that, and she broke down in my arms.
she cried and cried, tears cascading free flow down onto my shoulders.
my heart totally smashed, as she continued to tear, yet i could only stroke her hair and hug her.
she then explained everything that transpired and how the talk with her friend went.
i could understand the loneliness she was going through, while she keeps pinning the blame on herself.
i encouraged her, and told her some ways friends can still come back with each other.
i would give anything in the world to see her smile again, even if it needs me to see less of her, so she can spend time with her friends whom she care and cherish for deeply.
even if the whole world turns their back on her, i wouldn't.
cos she means the world to me. <3
i just want her to be happy. that's all i ask for. :))
she biked home after that, and seeing her go zoom, i suddenly felt lonely.
but i knew i would be seeing her for lunch today!
so...... its gonna be another nice lunchtime with baby moo!!
the day ended...with another hurdle to cross. ~~
WTH
what the hell?
i think im super PMS yesterday.
dunno why.
got so super emo suddenly.
thank goodness i woke up feeling ok. if not i will die. =(
oh well.
come to think of it. things arent as bad as how i think.
im just too emo to think straight.
shouldnt be so selfish.
bad melissa.
adding oil to fire is NO NO. lol!
*
i hope baby boy is ok.
praying for him.
styms, being too nice ends up with trouble.
he should keep his niceness to me. HAHAHAHAHAH!
i think im super PMS yesterday.
dunno why.
got so super emo suddenly.
thank goodness i woke up feeling ok. if not i will die. =(
oh well.
come to think of it. things arent as bad as how i think.
im just too emo to think straight.
shouldnt be so selfish.
bad melissa.
adding oil to fire is NO NO. lol!
*
i hope baby boy is ok.
praying for him.
styms, being too nice ends up with trouble.
he should keep his niceness to me. HAHAHAHAHAH!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
not important
when it comes to talking about FINDING lost property, NURSES suddenly became SO IMPORTANT. taking all the blame for the missing item.
since when are nurses important? WHEN THERE IS A MISTAKE OR ISSUE.
when pt is well taken care of? Dr gets the credit. tmd.
*
den i feel totally left out.
i dunno why but i always feel this way.
i dun seem to be of much importance.
dun seem to matter to anyone.
i really cannot take it anymore.
i always tot is just a moment.
but these days it seems too much that i cannot take it anymore.
perhaps i shouldnt expect much.
perhaps i should just keep to myself. haiz.
since when are nurses important? WHEN THERE IS A MISTAKE OR ISSUE.
when pt is well taken care of? Dr gets the credit. tmd.
*
den i feel totally left out.
i dunno why but i always feel this way.
i dun seem to be of much importance.
dun seem to matter to anyone.
i really cannot take it anymore.
i always tot is just a moment.
but these days it seems too much that i cannot take it anymore.
perhaps i shouldnt expect much.
perhaps i should just keep to myself. haiz.
filled with love
had a nice dinner at marche ytd with baby boy.
he rushed over to work and find me.
feel so happy seeing him walk towards me.
=D
how can a simple dinner be filled with so much laughter? i wonder.
haha!
omg. he just simply makes me feel soo loved.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE "HOLE-IN-THE-POCKET" DINNER BABY BOY! <3
*
went to collect our long-awaited ring.
omg.
even thou it wasnt any engagement ring or what.. but gosh. i just feel so loved looking at it.
its just telling me, im his. =D
*
work today. so not looking fwd to. need to start studying for ACLS theory.
i have been going for tests without studying. how unhealthy. =S
he rushed over to work and find me.
feel so happy seeing him walk towards me.
=D
how can a simple dinner be filled with so much laughter? i wonder.
haha!
omg. he just simply makes me feel soo loved.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE "HOLE-IN-THE-POCKET" DINNER BABY BOY! <3
*
went to collect our long-awaited ring.
omg.
even thou it wasnt any engagement ring or what.. but gosh. i just feel so loved looking at it.
its just telling me, im his. =D
*
work today. so not looking fwd to. need to start studying for ACLS theory.
i have been going for tests without studying. how unhealthy. =S
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
with marche comes MOO!
started the day with a coffee from office cafe, and a load of back log to clear from the long leave i had. woot!
felt so accomplished today at work, finishing a returns that needs 2 weeks to do in 2 hours!
baby girl's bio paper wasn't too bad, as quoted by herself, but i'm so proud of her. :))
rushed down to vivo after knocking off, and met baby girl at coffee bean, slurping happily away on her double chocs. loved the smile that greeted me, from the very loves.
brought her for a huge MOO marche treat, hoping to bring a smile and reward her for her efforts to do well in her past week. :)) we got more than smiles, when she started howling with laughter at the dining table, with the very first 'reserved by Mr. Aldin @ 7pm'. :D
then the cow that refuses to stop staring at her at one angle, then the butt sniffing, the MOO language. food was good, and we ate till we ended with a whooping Movenpick ice cream! watching her smearing her tongue with the ice cream, she looked oh-so-blissful. gawd.
went to make the payment which cost: a COW'S BODY. XD
she made me look like a moolicious mool.
but seeing her laugh so heartily, i just thought to myself that maybe being a MOOL was not bad after all. :))
rushed back to J8 to collect our rings that looked so OOMPH.
with half of the journey 'TESTHIS' philosophy of hers.
NAWTHY GIRL SHE IS.
but how i love the way she beams at how happy she is. my heart just went.... NUA. :)
baby girl bumming at my place, and i wish she wouldn't leave my side, as the day just seemed like a fairytale that was ending, with me longing for more.
alvin <3 melissa
and i hope she finds some time from udders,to meet me, as it looks like she is UDDER-ING every day. XD
with marche comes MOO! ~~
felt so accomplished today at work, finishing a returns that needs 2 weeks to do in 2 hours!
baby girl's bio paper wasn't too bad, as quoted by herself, but i'm so proud of her. :))
rushed down to vivo after knocking off, and met baby girl at coffee bean, slurping happily away on her double chocs. loved the smile that greeted me, from the very loves.
brought her for a huge MOO marche treat, hoping to bring a smile and reward her for her efforts to do well in her past week. :)) we got more than smiles, when she started howling with laughter at the dining table, with the very first 'reserved by Mr. Aldin @ 7pm'. :D
then the cow that refuses to stop staring at her at one angle, then the butt sniffing, the MOO language. food was good, and we ate till we ended with a whooping Movenpick ice cream! watching her smearing her tongue with the ice cream, she looked oh-so-blissful. gawd.
went to make the payment which cost: a COW'S BODY. XD
she made me look like a moolicious mool.
but seeing her laugh so heartily, i just thought to myself that maybe being a MOOL was not bad after all. :))
rushed back to J8 to collect our rings that looked so OOMPH.
with half of the journey 'TESTHIS' philosophy of hers.
NAWTHY GIRL SHE IS.
but how i love the way she beams at how happy she is. my heart just went.... NUA. :)
baby girl bumming at my place, and i wish she wouldn't leave my side, as the day just seemed like a fairytale that was ending, with me longing for more.
alvin <3 melissa
and i hope she finds some time from udders,to meet me, as it looks like she is UDDER-ING every day. XD
with marche comes MOO! ~~
worth the wait
sitting at vivo coffee bean, drinking pure double chocolate frap.
using lappy.
NUA.
waiting for baby boy to come.
and have our nice marche dinner. =D
had a long day at school.
but all was worth it when the time comes to meet my baby boy.
=)
*
i liked the way he held my hand and my heart skipped a beat.
the way he gazed into my eyes and i know how much he loves me.
the way he hugs me.
the smile on his face.
the serious look that never failed to tickle me.
how can i look at someone and smile in bliss non stop? i wonder. but he makes me do that. =D
*
<3
gonna watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. now. tata!
using lappy.
NUA.
waiting for baby boy to come.
and have our nice marche dinner. =D
had a long day at school.
but all was worth it when the time comes to meet my baby boy.
=)
*
i liked the way he held my hand and my heart skipped a beat.
the way he gazed into my eyes and i know how much he loves me.
the way he hugs me.
the smile on his face.
the serious look that never failed to tickle me.
how can i look at someone and smile in bliss non stop? i wonder. but he makes me do that. =D
*
<3
gonna watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. now. tata!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Two down
Okie. Ytd was a fiery day. Mayb cos I'm too stressed.
Didn't really study for bio test today.
As well as not prepared for presentation ytd.
Totally lost.:( sucks.
I think my tutor sucks.
Bcos whether we do too detailed, or go straight to the point and think too simply, she wud have sth to say. Tts for being a tutor I guess. Argh!
Den had a not-bad dim sum along lorong 15.
Met baby boy. Oh gosh. He wud just lighten up my day. I wud feel so gd after seeing him.
the luffs that we always haf. The rootbeer-makes-him-dumb thing. Hahaha!
The part where I had to leave was e worst.
Dun like *pouts*
tried to study at home, but I cudnt. Sucks:( my eyes jus refused to stay open.
But thank goodness I did e quiz this morning on e train.
I hope I wudnt fail too badly. Haahaha!
Time for lunch!
Nana n mab gonna skip class. Im so gonna be alone:((
Didn't really study for bio test today.
As well as not prepared for presentation ytd.
Totally lost.:( sucks.
I think my tutor sucks.
Bcos whether we do too detailed, or go straight to the point and think too simply, she wud have sth to say. Tts for being a tutor I guess. Argh!
Den had a not-bad dim sum along lorong 15.
Met baby boy. Oh gosh. He wud just lighten up my day. I wud feel so gd after seeing him.
the luffs that we always haf. The rootbeer-makes-him-dumb thing. Hahaha!
The part where I had to leave was e worst.
Dun like *pouts*
tried to study at home, but I cudnt. Sucks:( my eyes jus refused to stay open.
But thank goodness I did e quiz this morning on e train.
I hope I wudnt fail too badly. Haahaha!
Time for lunch!
Nana n mab gonna skip class. Im so gonna be alone:((
great day!
today was a marvellicious day!
started the day with assignment chionging @ school.
many thanks to those who helped me in the assignment. :)
completed the assignment with a great pat on my back.
woot!
and cheapos are going dancing.
free style, hip hop. let's do this boys! :D
class was a blast, as i pronged on bestie's iPhone and listened to the songs.
omg! the songs are all damn nice larh!
then bestie, me and lut started playing with my lappie's camera, distorting my picture, turning it, then putting it as my desktop background.
lut showed me the picture while i was swallowing my saliva, causing it to enter my trachea, which follows with a great COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH. lmao.
gourmet after class with jerrel, bestie and lut.
cheese fries, chestnut drink. YUMS! :)
poked jerrel till his face reddened. HILARIOUS. LOL.
went home for a bath, then met my baby girl below my block.
talked about our day, whined to each other, drank root beer, became a block, and she laughed her arse off at things i mumbled.. like ***** code.
neighbour aileen walked past, and we all had a hearty laugh at the everyone's-ovulating theory.
nothing could explain how i felt, holding her, protecting her.
love the way she smiles, the way she close her eyes and snuggles in my arms, the way she whispered 'i love you' into my ears. :)) ever-bliss. <3
ended the day with my baby girl biking home, and a smile on my face. :) ~
started the day with assignment chionging @ school.
many thanks to those who helped me in the assignment. :)
completed the assignment with a great pat on my back.
woot!
and cheapos are going dancing.
free style, hip hop. let's do this boys! :D
class was a blast, as i pronged on bestie's iPhone and listened to the songs.
omg! the songs are all damn nice larh!
then bestie, me and lut started playing with my lappie's camera, distorting my picture, turning it, then putting it as my desktop background.
lut showed me the picture while i was swallowing my saliva, causing it to enter my trachea, which follows with a great COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH. lmao.
gourmet after class with jerrel, bestie and lut.
cheese fries, chestnut drink. YUMS! :)
poked jerrel till his face reddened. HILARIOUS. LOL.
went home for a bath, then met my baby girl below my block.
talked about our day, whined to each other, drank root beer, became a block, and she laughed her arse off at things i mumbled.. like ***** code.
neighbour aileen walked past, and we all had a hearty laugh at the everyone's-ovulating theory.
nothing could explain how i felt, holding her, protecting her.
love the way she smiles, the way she close her eyes and snuggles in my arms, the way she whispered 'i love you' into my ears. :)) ever-bliss. <3
ended the day with my baby girl biking home, and a smile on my face. :) ~
Sunday, April 11, 2010
TOTALLY PISSED
ok.
I AM PISSED.
what is wrong with the ppl these days?
early in the morning got snapped at with regards to YOUR PRECIOUS DAUGHTER.
if she is that precious to u, FREAKING HELL GET UR ASS BACK HERE TO SIGN THAT BLARDY FORM LAH! tmd.
i dun owe her a living.
why do i have to take this shit?
*
den saw sth. AGAIN.
when will these exactly stop?
i love my baby boy.really do.
becos he showed me what is love.
he showed me WHAT A GUY CAN DO FOR THE GIRL HE LOVES.
you showed me what a guy can do to the girl he chose to neglect.
so stop criticising me.
i meant what i said then. but it didnt end well.
what happened to us may not happen between me n him.
i dun expect u to give me ur blessings.
but at least, DUN DOUBT WAD I USED TO SAY!
arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!
*
and right now im like so freaking worried about my boy.
yet i cudnt do anything..
haiz.
useless shit.
what an exasperating day! =(
*
had such gd day yesterday. except the kena DIAO by baby's admirer part.
why does it has to end up so FIERY today?
im not even feeling well.
ARGH!
I AM PISSED.
what is wrong with the ppl these days?
early in the morning got snapped at with regards to YOUR PRECIOUS DAUGHTER.
if she is that precious to u, FREAKING HELL GET UR ASS BACK HERE TO SIGN THAT BLARDY FORM LAH! tmd.
i dun owe her a living.
why do i have to take this shit?
*
den saw sth. AGAIN.
when will these exactly stop?
i love my baby boy.really do.
becos he showed me what is love.
he showed me WHAT A GUY CAN DO FOR THE GIRL HE LOVES.
you showed me what a guy can do to the girl he chose to neglect.
so stop criticising me.
i meant what i said then. but it didnt end well.
what happened to us may not happen between me n him.
i dun expect u to give me ur blessings.
but at least, DUN DOUBT WAD I USED TO SAY!
arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!
*
and right now im like so freaking worried about my boy.
yet i cudnt do anything..
haiz.
useless shit.
what an exasperating day! =(
*
had such gd day yesterday. except the kena DIAO by baby's admirer part.
why does it has to end up so FIERY today?
im not even feeling well.
ARGH!
sleep...less...
its 01 05 hrs.
and i can't sleep.
assignment's still stuck at 930 words.
argh!
tummy's hurting like hell.
and i can't sleep.
assignment's still stuck at 930 words.
argh!
tummy's hurting like hell.
when you're gone..
watched her leave.
very heart tugging.
but she's home safe. i couldn't ask for more.. :))
we got rings for our first month.
its beautiful.
the day was fulfilled with 3 KOIs, sweet potatoes, and squids..fried..
so much so that my baby girl just dethroned me by saying i flirted with a girl at KOI.
gawd her jealous maniacious moves drives me wild! HAH!
love the way she shows her love for me. <3
had so much fun and hearty laughs when she popped by my place, as we explored her fetish for the *WAVES* :D
the day's getting better, as i restarted my assignment, and now... @2330 hours, i have a great breakthrough!
very heart tugging.
but she's home safe. i couldn't ask for more.. :))
we got rings for our first month.
its beautiful.
the day was fulfilled with 3 KOIs, sweet potatoes, and squids..fried..
so much so that my baby girl just dethroned me by saying i flirted with a girl at KOI.
gawd her jealous maniacious moves drives me wild! HAH!
love the way she shows her love for me. <3
had so much fun and hearty laughs when she popped by my place, as we explored her fetish for the *WAVES* :D
the day's getting better, as i restarted my assignment, and now... @2330 hours, i have a great breakthrough!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
=)
break time now..
and im feeling total tiredness CAN?!?
loL~
totally should start mugging for bio.
i AM SO DEAD.
lol!
and my presentations are still not uploaded. i wonder why. =(
*
i miss my baby boy. loads.
times when he held my hand tight.
times when he looks into my eyes and i just knew how much he loves me.
times when we binge on our fav food.
times when we drank koi milk tea tgt.
its just times with him.
<3 him
*
i hope things will be better and better.
i just wanna go thru this difficult times.
im just not bucking up enough.
shouldnt slack so much.
need to cut down on outings and use that for my sch work instead.
NO LIFE, yes.
but its for the benefit for life.
gonna nap abit before going back to work.
loves!
*waves waves* at alvin lam. hehehe.
and im feeling total tiredness CAN?!?
loL~
totally should start mugging for bio.
i AM SO DEAD.
lol!
and my presentations are still not uploaded. i wonder why. =(
*
i miss my baby boy. loads.
times when he held my hand tight.
times when he looks into my eyes and i just knew how much he loves me.
times when we binge on our fav food.
times when we drank koi milk tea tgt.
its just times with him.
<3 him
*
i hope things will be better and better.
i just wanna go thru this difficult times.
im just not bucking up enough.
shouldnt slack so much.
need to cut down on outings and use that for my sch work instead.
NO LIFE, yes.
but its for the benefit for life.
gonna nap abit before going back to work.
loves!
*waves waves* at alvin lam. hehehe.
can't sleep!!
orh like a dinky winky in singapore,
i'm so freaking stuck on my assignment.
cos i lost an article which i cited from. WELL DONE.
sister's still not coming home.
parents are drilling holes in their 'good example.'
like i can do wonders.
brother's down, issues with my sister
but all i can do is give my ears, my shoulders, my empathy.
started the day with 1300 hrs.
sweet saturday.
took it to the lan shop with the bitches for a good zombirific killing session.
had to leave at 6 odd, and i dragged my 'hao ren' arse to my grand's.
flubberific dinner, as i pumped my blobbified tummy with a huge... HUGE bowl of laksa.
YUMS.
something's squirming in my git but what gives, i don't know.
hurts like shit and couldn't sleep for nuts with all the rolling-on-bed antics.
woke with anal bleeding, and for once i thought my gender's wrong..
fetched my baby girl home from work after getting KOI milk tea which gets her *wave wave* :D
she told me things that made me reflect my rash decisions and thoughts, and for that i apologise.
held her hand today while driving and the engine seemed to skip a beat. bliss if i would call it. :)
took her to the night market near her place to bobble her all time fav there: sweet potato fritters.
watching her eat and beam, makes the scene oh-so-blissful. bummed around her place for a bit, had a good and heart warming talk.
she's so worn out these period and i pray, that she gets over this smoothly.
0209 hrs. and i still can't sleep. but something's certain, the weather's hot like shit.
i'm so freaking stuck on my assignment.
cos i lost an article which i cited from. WELL DONE.
sister's still not coming home.
parents are drilling holes in their 'good example.'
like i can do wonders.
brother's down, issues with my sister
but all i can do is give my ears, my shoulders, my empathy.
started the day with 1300 hrs.
sweet saturday.
took it to the lan shop with the bitches for a good zombirific killing session.
had to leave at 6 odd, and i dragged my 'hao ren' arse to my grand's.
flubberific dinner, as i pumped my blobbified tummy with a huge... HUGE bowl of laksa.
YUMS.
something's squirming in my git but what gives, i don't know.
hurts like shit and couldn't sleep for nuts with all the rolling-on-bed antics.
woke with anal bleeding, and for once i thought my gender's wrong..
fetched my baby girl home from work after getting KOI milk tea which gets her *wave wave* :D
she told me things that made me reflect my rash decisions and thoughts, and for that i apologise.
held her hand today while driving and the engine seemed to skip a beat. bliss if i would call it. :)
took her to the night market near her place to bobble her all time fav there: sweet potato fritters.
watching her eat and beam, makes the scene oh-so-blissful. bummed around her place for a bit, had a good and heart warming talk.
she's so worn out these period and i pray, that she gets over this smoothly.
0209 hrs. and i still can't sleep. but something's certain, the weather's hot like shit.
what a day
well, it was an eventful night yesterday.
pissed, disappointment, sadness, worried... etc.
i just hope all was well.
it was a stupid fight afterall.
it was really uncalled for.
i love u for who u are. how well u treat me. how much u love me.
not on looks or talent.
have confident in urself darling boy, and have confidence in me. =D
*
i hope he is better now.
talk things out. solve probs.
its impt.
dun keep it to urself.
*
sch today was terror.
surprisingly i woke up in time and reach early enough to buy macs for mab and me.
had breakfast at the stairs outside lecture hall. wth. hahah!
den in class. totally brain shut.
slept thru the last hour of the class. on the "touching video" that we are supposed to tear. *and i dunno why*
ate lunch with mab.
seriously speaking, i tried.
but i cant seem to let go of the burden.
i tried talking to someone abt it.
but i was rejected.
it is very tiring.
VERY.
i had abt 1 hr of rest before work. and im SO LOST in ed.
with a sleepy head.
*
pissed, disappointment, sadness, worried... etc.
i just hope all was well.
it was a stupid fight afterall.
it was really uncalled for.
i love u for who u are. how well u treat me. how much u love me.
not on looks or talent.
have confident in urself darling boy, and have confidence in me. =D
*
i hope he is better now.
talk things out. solve probs.
its impt.
dun keep it to urself.
*
sch today was terror.
surprisingly i woke up in time and reach early enough to buy macs for mab and me.
had breakfast at the stairs outside lecture hall. wth. hahah!
den in class. totally brain shut.
slept thru the last hour of the class. on the "touching video" that we are supposed to tear. *and i dunno why*
ate lunch with mab.
seriously speaking, i tried.
but i cant seem to let go of the burden.
i tried talking to someone abt it.
but i was rejected.
it is very tiring.
VERY.
i had abt 1 hr of rest before work. and im SO LOST in ed.
with a sleepy head.
*
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
work is so sians
who doesnt agree with that?
it is god damn sians.
AM after OFF day.
den got class again later.
omg. im really beginning to regret starting class.
and SOCIOLOGY IS FREAKING HARD!
bio presentation on mon(need to submit by sat) - not done.
bio test coming tue - HAVEN STUDY YET.
ACLS practical and theory test next friday and sat - HAVEN STUDY YET.
2(tmd kena sabo) presentations next sat - not done.
APO presentation by next sun - not done.
socio assignment 1500words by 27th april - not done. not even a word/research.
KILL ME PLS.
argh.
it is god damn sians.
AM after OFF day.
den got class again later.
omg. im really beginning to regret starting class.
and SOCIOLOGY IS FREAKING HARD!
bio presentation on mon(need to submit by sat) - not done.
bio test coming tue - HAVEN STUDY YET.
ACLS practical and theory test next friday and sat - HAVEN STUDY YET.
2(tmd kena sabo) presentations next sat - not done.
APO presentation by next sun - not done.
socio assignment 1500words by 27th april - not done. not even a word/research.
KILL ME PLS.
argh.
zzz
hmms.
loads of late nights.
loads of happiness.
den weird things happening.
sang K for consecutive 3days. POWER!
*
totally addicted to koi milk tea. =))
and i liked amk de atmosphere better =D
*
and im sorry for making her worried.
it wasnt meant to be this way.
im really sorry.
*
so many assignments.
too many to count.
sians.
i totally got no mood to get started.
tmd.
*
and damn sians now.
down.
=(
time to slp.
*
bye
loads of late nights.
loads of happiness.
den weird things happening.
sang K for consecutive 3days. POWER!
*
totally addicted to koi milk tea. =))
and i liked amk de atmosphere better =D
*
and im sorry for making her worried.
it wasnt meant to be this way.
im really sorry.
*
so many assignments.
too many to count.
sians.
i totally got no mood to get started.
tmd.
*
and damn sians now.
down.
=(
time to slp.
*
bye
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sians.
Why m I always e bad person?
Even if I only wanted you to be happy?
Even when I know u feel relief now?
Even when I know u weren't happy wif me?
I merely feel u dun hafta act like nth infront of me yet feeling like being wif me was e worst choice ever. I felt even worst than being betrayed but do u ever know?
Haiz totally frustrated.
I just wanted things to be normal btwn us.
Perhaps I was naive. Things wasn't that simple or easy afterall. I am always seen as e predator and ppl are e victim.
Be it at work, at home, or in a r/s. Wth.
*
argh. I need to ventilate.
Stop reading my blog if what I say doesn't makes u feel gd. I just want a place to talk about my feelings.
Damn.
This blog is supposed to be happier.
*
ahhhh! And I envy mab!
I want my lv damier azur Eva clutch!!:((
Why m I always e bad person?
Even if I only wanted you to be happy?
Even when I know u feel relief now?
Even when I know u weren't happy wif me?
I merely feel u dun hafta act like nth infront of me yet feeling like being wif me was e worst choice ever. I felt even worst than being betrayed but do u ever know?
Haiz totally frustrated.
I just wanted things to be normal btwn us.
Perhaps I was naive. Things wasn't that simple or easy afterall. I am always seen as e predator and ppl are e victim.
Be it at work, at home, or in a r/s. Wth.
*
argh. I need to ventilate.
Stop reading my blog if what I say doesn't makes u feel gd. I just want a place to talk about my feelings.
Damn.
This blog is supposed to be happier.
*
ahhhh! And I envy mab!
I want my lv damier azur Eva clutch!!:((
Monday, April 5, 2010
loves
oh well.
life has been tiring but yet fun so far.
wasnt well these days.
stupid URTI.
but im getting better. thats a relief. =D
had fun steamboat session with liting, amanda, tengyao kor, yali, lut, elaine, jerome and of cos, my darling boy.
not forgetting the ice cream session after that, which is a smelly session for darling boy and elaine. hahaha!
=)
styms, i wonder why do some ppl have to dwell in the unhappiness, yet at the same time, act like it is nth at all.
if it was ADVISED against before, and u told urself that "no, this is the choice i wanted to make", den why talk about "should have heeded the advice long time ago" kinda thing?
bitter, yes.
it is over. and life still goes on.
time and tide waits for no man.
why do we have to choose to be unhappy when being happy is an option too?
haiz. lets pray for the best. for everyone.
*
ok im tired.
slept at close to 3 ytd. right now,my eyes are closing.
ended up being in charge buddy rather than med nurse.
im meeting amanda laopo and darling boy later. cant wait. loves!
life has been tiring but yet fun so far.
wasnt well these days.
stupid URTI.
but im getting better. thats a relief. =D
had fun steamboat session with liting, amanda, tengyao kor, yali, lut, elaine, jerome and of cos, my darling boy.
not forgetting the ice cream session after that, which is a smelly session for darling boy and elaine. hahaha!
=)
styms, i wonder why do some ppl have to dwell in the unhappiness, yet at the same time, act like it is nth at all.
if it was ADVISED against before, and u told urself that "no, this is the choice i wanted to make", den why talk about "should have heeded the advice long time ago" kinda thing?
bitter, yes.
it is over. and life still goes on.
time and tide waits for no man.
why do we have to choose to be unhappy when being happy is an option too?
haiz. lets pray for the best. for everyone.
*
ok im tired.
slept at close to 3 ytd. right now,my eyes are closing.
ended up being in charge buddy rather than med nurse.
im meeting amanda laopo and darling boy later. cant wait. loves!
Friday, April 2, 2010
today is finally here
as much fun as i had the past few days, today is finally here.
and im finally seeing him in 4hours time. =D
feel abit sad cos i cant drive out today.
in fact, i cant drive out everyday lah. damn sians.
drove today to go sweep tomb with family.
i was abit restless. dunno why.
mayb cos not enuf slp as well. lol!
ytd was fun. i never knew les night can be so fun.
as in, the music is damn gd.
and there are really loads of cute girls. hahaha!
we all had fun.
all was down, except me la.
but i dun need alcohol to keep me high =)
it feels gd to see nana having fun. to the extent that when she got abit out of hand, i dunno if i shud stop her. =X
but nonetheless, i hope she is ok now. =D
*
and im finally seeing him in 4hours time. =D
feel abit sad cos i cant drive out today.
in fact, i cant drive out everyday lah. damn sians.
drove today to go sweep tomb with family.
i was abit restless. dunno why.
mayb cos not enuf slp as well. lol!
ytd was fun. i never knew les night can be so fun.
as in, the music is damn gd.
and there are really loads of cute girls. hahaha!
we all had fun.
all was down, except me la.
but i dun need alcohol to keep me high =)
it feels gd to see nana having fun. to the extent that when she got abit out of hand, i dunno if i shud stop her. =X
but nonetheless, i hope she is ok now. =D
*
Thursday, April 1, 2010
bad nose.
bad bad nose.
whats wrong with me? haiz.
*
big thanks to william for helping me settle that. thanks =D
*
today is like discovery channel when i discovered alot of things that i never sees before.
unpleasant feeling.
but well, im still handling it well.
it is always nice to know how much i meant to him. and that he would always explain himself for fear that i would misunderstands.
and im equally surprised at how much we were linked to the extent that i would know exactly that he is unhappy about stuffs etc.
nice. =)
i dun like to be always guessing and not know the answer.
and i dun like to assume. so, i hope things stays this way =D
*
okie. time to get my lazy ass off my bed and go prepare to meet the ppl.
6hours of slp for 48hours. cool.
bye all.
*
yearning and pinning for u.
bad bad nose.
whats wrong with me? haiz.
*
big thanks to william for helping me settle that. thanks =D
*
today is like discovery channel when i discovered alot of things that i never sees before.
unpleasant feeling.
but well, im still handling it well.
it is always nice to know how much i meant to him. and that he would always explain himself for fear that i would misunderstands.
and im equally surprised at how much we were linked to the extent that i would know exactly that he is unhappy about stuffs etc.
nice. =)
i dun like to be always guessing and not know the answer.
and i dun like to assume. so, i hope things stays this way =D
*
okie. time to get my lazy ass off my bed and go prepare to meet the ppl.
6hours of slp for 48hours. cool.
bye all.
*
yearning and pinning for u.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
sians big time
i am duper ultra sians.
mood has been down these days.
i have been feeling damn upset lah.
over dunno wadever reasons.
its just not gd. =(
had fun last night.
but it pains me to see her this way.
it hurts alot bcos these are ppl close to my heart and i really treasure them.
so nth else matters except them.
and when i know they are hurting so badly and i cant do anything, i really feel damn useless.
i wished i cud do sth more. haiz.
anw, old liaos. clubbing doesnt seem that fun to me anymore.
its the company that i enjoys. =D
*
and Mr Lam is so gonna be dead when he comes back. =p
*
and i still miss him so much even thou he is like... having 5 mistresses in tw. and even has video confession. *roars*
*
okays. back to ed stuffs.
went back ytd unwillingly to set up everything.
den hafta go class at 7am today.
so practically me and mab didnt slp at all.
thank gdness i didnt fall aslp while mr hongkong is talking. if nt im gonna be so dead.
i wonder how cud some ppl be really nice outside work and be so god damn nasty at work.
things may not go ur way. but personal attacks are no no man.
he is still crossed-out. =*
*
and now, im gonna slp.
another clubbing outing with daniel and mab and gwen and nana (if she gt the mood).
zonk out~
mood has been down these days.
i have been feeling damn upset lah.
over dunno wadever reasons.
its just not gd. =(
had fun last night.
but it pains me to see her this way.
it hurts alot bcos these are ppl close to my heart and i really treasure them.
so nth else matters except them.
and when i know they are hurting so badly and i cant do anything, i really feel damn useless.
i wished i cud do sth more. haiz.
anw, old liaos. clubbing doesnt seem that fun to me anymore.
its the company that i enjoys. =D
*
and Mr Lam is so gonna be dead when he comes back. =p
*
and i still miss him so much even thou he is like... having 5 mistresses in tw. and even has video confession. *roars*
*
okays. back to ed stuffs.
went back ytd unwillingly to set up everything.
den hafta go class at 7am today.
so practically me and mab didnt slp at all.
thank gdness i didnt fall aslp while mr hongkong is talking. if nt im gonna be so dead.
i wonder how cud some ppl be really nice outside work and be so god damn nasty at work.
things may not go ur way. but personal attacks are no no man.
he is still crossed-out. =*
*
and now, im gonna slp.
another clubbing outing with daniel and mab and gwen and nana (if she gt the mood).
zonk out~
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Haiz. Damn sians.
Why m I always taking e brunt of everything?
Training timing change, I gets e blame.
Other ppl's mistakes, I gets e blame.
Accidentally bump into each other, I gets e blame.
Now, I wanna move on wif my life, treasuring ppl who really cares abt me, I gets e blame too.
Tmd!
I mean, who is there to define how much time I need to get over a failed relationship?
Who can tell me, exactly, how much time is needed? If there is anyone who cud tell me,I wud jolly well do it.
If u cn tell ur ex gf abt ur feelings for her best fren so fast after u two broke up, den tell me, who else can't?
If my ex bf cn hold someone else's hands right after we broke up, what cnt be done?
I already spent so much of my time.
I dun want to miss an opportunity again.
I dun expect everyone to understand my situation.
I'm thankful that my best friend understands me.
And him for e constant understanding.
I'm sick n tired of trying to explain.
I just need to calm down right nw.
Why m I always taking e brunt of everything?
Training timing change, I gets e blame.
Other ppl's mistakes, I gets e blame.
Accidentally bump into each other, I gets e blame.
Now, I wanna move on wif my life, treasuring ppl who really cares abt me, I gets e blame too.
Tmd!
I mean, who is there to define how much time I need to get over a failed relationship?
Who can tell me, exactly, how much time is needed? If there is anyone who cud tell me,I wud jolly well do it.
If u cn tell ur ex gf abt ur feelings for her best fren so fast after u two broke up, den tell me, who else can't?
If my ex bf cn hold someone else's hands right after we broke up, what cnt be done?
I already spent so much of my time.
I dun want to miss an opportunity again.
I dun expect everyone to understand my situation.
I'm thankful that my best friend understands me.
And him for e constant understanding.
I'm sick n tired of trying to explain.
I just need to calm down right nw.
Emo
Alot of things happened these days.
The misunderstandings
The nearly first quarrel
The first separation
alot.
I'm very depressed nw. Life isn't really fair.
I'm taking on too many roles.
And I dun seem to haf a choice to say no.
I'm going back to ed on every HL, every DO, every AL.
And no one spares a tot on how much rest I needed.
I hadn't be able to concentrate on my sch work.
Let alone e accelerated program stuffs.
Let alone study for tests and exams.
I am so tired. Haiz.
He is away. And I missed him alot.
There has been too many emotions going ard me. I dunno how much longer I cn take it.
I just need sometime to calm down and get started on my assignments. All my assignments...
I feel like crying right nw. But I can't cos I'm sitting on e train..
oh my goodness. I need diversion therapy. If nt my tears will drop.:(
too depressed.
The misunderstandings
The nearly first quarrel
The first separation
alot.
I'm very depressed nw. Life isn't really fair.
I'm taking on too many roles.
And I dun seem to haf a choice to say no.
I'm going back to ed on every HL, every DO, every AL.
And no one spares a tot on how much rest I needed.
I hadn't be able to concentrate on my sch work.
Let alone e accelerated program stuffs.
Let alone study for tests and exams.
I am so tired. Haiz.
He is away. And I missed him alot.
There has been too many emotions going ard me. I dunno how much longer I cn take it.
I just need sometime to calm down and get started on my assignments. All my assignments...
I feel like crying right nw. But I can't cos I'm sitting on e train..
oh my goodness. I need diversion therapy. If nt my tears will drop.:(
too depressed.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
something is wrong!
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!
i only had about 4hours of slp since the day before. and FOR GOODNESS SAKE! im still awake!
i really need to sleep. this is like the last 2days i can fully enjoy my beauty sleep. then its back to the hectic schedule of work.
*
ok. today is a bad day for me after so long.
the things that he said just made me feel like shit.
i have always thought he really appreciated me after so long. even thou it came so much later than i hoped so.
i have always thought, this break up would let him see my importance.
but apparently, the ugly truth is people just simply treat U as dirt when they have come to realize u are not part of their life anymore.
when he says end of sad and tough journey and its time to treat himself better, it makes me feel like a total failure.
2years 10months have just gone down the drain.
the amount of effort, tears, joy and sadness = nothing.
i pains for the memories. not him.
somehow, this statement makes me feel worthless.
am i worthy of someone's love?
since all i bring for ppl, is sadness and burden.
dwelling so much in the pain is no gd.
i have always told myself, that things doesnt go on well is bcos i do not have enough courage to carry on. and that no one else to be blamed.
but den, i was blamed now. right now.
the feeling of wronged and accusation just sucks.
why do i always end up taking the brunt when it was a choice i made for the benefit of both party?
now that i know he actually feels relief that we are no longer tgt.
i began to feel it was a right choice after all.
all along i felt so selfish to leave bcos i dun haf the courage. but now, i feel glad that i have made that decision.
haiz. will things be better? i hoped so.
im gonna try to sleep now.
bye.
i only had about 4hours of slp since the day before. and FOR GOODNESS SAKE! im still awake!
i really need to sleep. this is like the last 2days i can fully enjoy my beauty sleep. then its back to the hectic schedule of work.
*
ok. today is a bad day for me after so long.
the things that he said just made me feel like shit.
i have always thought he really appreciated me after so long. even thou it came so much later than i hoped so.
i have always thought, this break up would let him see my importance.
but apparently, the ugly truth is people just simply treat U as dirt when they have come to realize u are not part of their life anymore.
when he says end of sad and tough journey and its time to treat himself better, it makes me feel like a total failure.
2years 10months have just gone down the drain.
the amount of effort, tears, joy and sadness = nothing.
i pains for the memories. not him.
somehow, this statement makes me feel worthless.
am i worthy of someone's love?
since all i bring for ppl, is sadness and burden.
dwelling so much in the pain is no gd.
i have always told myself, that things doesnt go on well is bcos i do not have enough courage to carry on. and that no one else to be blamed.
but den, i was blamed now. right now.
the feeling of wronged and accusation just sucks.
why do i always end up taking the brunt when it was a choice i made for the benefit of both party?
now that i know he actually feels relief that we are no longer tgt.
i began to feel it was a right choice after all.
all along i felt so selfish to leave bcos i dun haf the courage. but now, i feel glad that i have made that decision.
haiz. will things be better? i hoped so.
im gonna try to sleep now.
bye.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
sleepless night
omg.
i hadnt sleep since just now.
wonder whats wrong.
feel damn tired but just cant close my eyes and sleep.
i need to readjust my body clock. if not my AM shift on sat will kill me. hahahahaha!
guess im not slping till tonight =D
i hadnt sleep since just now.
wonder whats wrong.
feel damn tired but just cant close my eyes and sleep.
i need to readjust my body clock. if not my AM shift on sat will kill me. hahahahaha!
guess im not slping till tonight =D
=D
had an enjoyable dinner with darling girls.
no wonder we are like... best of friends. they totally can understand me and feels the same way as i do.
didnt join the rest at DXO. cos i really din wanna drink. and of cos, someone wasnt there as well.
it seems like all of them got wasted. HA! lucky i wasnt there. =))
had facial session by elaine. hahahaha! feels so weird. hadnt had facial for AGES. hahahah!
left with 3days. im so not looking fwd to work. hahahahaha!
no wonder we are like... best of friends. they totally can understand me and feels the same way as i do.
didnt join the rest at DXO. cos i really din wanna drink. and of cos, someone wasnt there as well.
it seems like all of them got wasted. HA! lucky i wasnt there. =))
had facial session by elaine. hahahaha! feels so weird. hadnt had facial for AGES. hahahah!
left with 3days. im so not looking fwd to work. hahahahaha!
tadah!
1st blog post of this new blog.
previous blogs has alot of unhappiness in it.
i hope this would actually be a happier one. =D
enjoy! =D
previous blogs has alot of unhappiness in it.
i hope this would actually be a happier one. =D
enjoy! =D
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