Oh well, nothing else happened since that last post. Nothing else changed. I'm still nobody.
And I really really want to resign. Really really want to stay home and take care of Ethan myself. Really really doesnt want a maid anymore. But can I? E whole damn family is so reliant on e maid. And I dun see why.
Now, I can't even ask a simple qns. I had to take the brunt of her attitude. Of her temper. Of her rubbish. Seriously, I can't do it. I really can't. I tried so hard to be a good employer. But I really Dunno how to. It pisses me off the moment I know sth is not done properly to Ethan. I really hated this feeling. Till so that I rather do it all by myself.
But I can't afford to do so. I can't just quit like that. There are still tons of bills for me to pay. And lots of money needed. If only there's money that dropped down from heaven. Den I can do work at my own time that I can handle.
Sometimes I wished I wasn't born in this family. I wished I had a family with lesser problems. With more love and concern. With more money. But I can't choose at all. I had enough of handling all e nonsense thinkings and questionings.
I love my hubby and my boy so much. I want to give them e best home ever. But can I really do that? I really dunno. I hated myself for having such a bad temper. For getting so pissed so easily. For not being thrifty enough to clear all e debts and save all e money. Just my love, will not be enough. Isn't it?
Haiz I'm so emotional now. Really really very very down.
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